||•Darkness & Beauty•||

Beauty is found

even within the darkness.
It is painted on us
in the vivid colors of love,
pain, confusion, and mistakes.
Embedding itself
Scarring
Leaving tattoo like impressions
on our skin.
Oh how we’ve endured such pain
in the process
but love the finished product
in the end. 

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||•Killed the Cat•||

This is a poem from my book Black Canvas:

I followed you

Instead of my instincts that day

From the playground to your efficiency

Where you efficiently played on my curiosity

And convinced me to stay.

We talked

For a little while,

We sat there on your bed

My 15 year old body

Cradled between your 23 year old legs.

Innocently enough it began;

A shoulder massage to try to ease my growing tensions

Only fueling my instincts to urge me to leave.

And this time I was finally listening..

Trying to maneuver myself free

But your arm across my chest now was preventing.

I wanted to struggle more

But the grip around my neck was tightening

Frightened

The only words I could let go of was

NO!

LET ME GO HOME!

But you decided to make me your momentary play thing.

Invading

You place your lips upon a body that never begged for them

And forced yourself inside a place that was never ready or willing to welcome you into it

I tried hard to fight them but the tears still fell as I laid there

Blood staining your sheets

You wouldn’t clean it

Displaying it proudly like your trophy

A reminder of the innocence you’ve stolen

You wear a joker like smile knowing

I am now damaged

And will never be the same…

Years have come and gone

But I still can’t escape

You, on some nights, invade my sleep

Making nightmares out of my dreams

I scream

But your laughter is still strong and muffling

It overpowers

Giving the outward appearance that I’m smiling

So that no one would bother to shake me

Awake

Knowing that I am ok

But it’s 17 years later…

I’m still shaking.

||•Dark Chocolate •||

Dark chocolate 

so smooth and subtle 

she draws closer to me;
nearing enough
that I can brush softly against her skin. 
I inhale her
allowing her sweet aroma to fill my lungs.
Desiring to taste the bitter goodness of her sin.

I cannot resist her movements.
The seduction in the sway of her hips.
The flow of her hair and how it falls
against places on her body
I wish to kiss

Temptation, she is
and I dare not resist.
For when it comes to chocolate… 
the cravings, I will always give in.

She is a sea of uncharted curves 
and I am her explorer
seeking to find;
what desires lurk inside? 
What treasures will arise? 
What secrets she keeps hidden
behind those deep brown eyes?

She smiles
and I
am at her command
I stand before her… ready,
to take more than my fill. 
To taste her so deeply.
To let the heat of me
melt her on the tip of my tongue. 
Allowing her to fill me up
with all the nutrients that make love
so natural.

Hey!

I never know where to start with these things so while I get this blog together let me introduce myself. My name is Nicole (of course), some call me Journee (former pen name) and if you are on instagram I write under the name @_silhoutte_. I have been writing since I was 14 years old so for just around 19 years. The things that I write about are of subjects that are of a very personal nature to me. Whether it has happened to me or around me.  It is my way to release all of the things  running rampid inside of my head. I also, recently have published my first poetry book “Black Canvas” which follows events in my life that I have either personally experienced or have been shared with me. Ok so that’s all for the moment, will come back soon with some poetry.