Stage Fright 

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||•Book News•||

It’s been almost one year (Sept 30th) since the release of my first book Black Canvas. Thank you to everyone that has been there and supported me throughout that entire process and to everyone who has purchased it! Black Canvas II will be released Sept 30, 2018. Before then I will be re-releasing Black Canvas with a new cover and more poems and making it available in all formats. *Hopefully before Christmas*

||•Intrusion•||

So,
here I am again.
Knocking at the door if your heart
hoping that you’re home because
as you can see, I’m not quite done with building my own.
I’ve convinced myself that
I am homeless without you.
So I pushed my mind aside
and with swallowed pride
I bang on your door
with a sense of urgency,
because this; I am the emergency
and I am in need of saving.
I bang…
Easing up at the sound of
your footsteps on approach.
I hesitate; wait
but I am met with nothing
accept for your silence.
You have but have not
acknowledged that I am here.
Tears…
I stand here; broken
Angry that you ignore me.
I am vulnerable
and thought I had meant
much more to you than this.
So I start yelling and
throwing up ultimatums.
Threaten that ‘if you don’t let me back in
I will take it all away.’
And still you say;
Nothing.
You think you’ve called my bluff
and now as I have given up,
turning to leave
you watch through the peep hole in disbelief.
Stepping off the last stair I hear you speak
“Baby, wait.”
You open the door but not all the way.
Just enough so that I could see
the parts of you,
only the ones you wanted me to; Just enough of the old you
the you I would come running back to
And I did.
Against the warning of my intuition,
bombarding my way back in. 

©Nicole Kidwell
*This is poem 1st in my 2nd book, picking up exactly where Black Canvas left off.

Random Book Notes 

All 74 poems from Black Canvas plus the 47 either removed or extra pieces for a grand total of 151 but I’ll probably boost it to 160. Canvas I: Black (BC remastered) re-released in 2018.

||Return of the Queen||

When she left,
their metaphorical castle walls
came crumbling down behind her.
And never once did she wonder
how they would fare beneath the debris.
From underneath the rubble,
they scream.
Their cries fell on deaf ears,
but they continue to fight
until from under this weight
they are released.
A young princess,
left to tend to the wounds of her king.
Her words, bandage scars
and heals the wounds that cannot be seen
Charged with the task
of creating miracles out of broken beliefs.
To make warriors of very young princes,
all in the name of protecting
our new castle as they build again
from the broken pieces.
They,
a stronger family,
united in their new kingdom.
Unbroken;
Despite tragedy.
And now
here she comes
returning to reclaim a place
that was rightfully once her own.
And finds herself;
a queen,
dethroned.