||•Intrusion•||

So,
here I am again.
Knocking at the door if your heart
hoping that you’re home because
as you can see, I’m not quite done with building my own.
I’ve convinced myself that
I am homeless without you.
So I pushed my mind aside
and with swallowed pride
I bang on your door
with a sense of urgency,
because this; I am the emergency
and I am in need of saving.
I bang…
Easing up at the sound of
your footsteps on approach.
I hesitate; wait
but I am met with nothing
accept for your silence.
You have but have not
acknowledged that I am here.
Tears…
I stand here; broken
Angry that you ignore me.
I am vulnerable
and thought I had meant
much more to you than this.
So I start yelling and
throwing up ultimatums.
Threaten that ‘if you don’t let me back in
I will take it all away.’
And still you say;
Nothing.
You think you’ve called my bluff
and now as I have given up,
turning to leave
you watch through the peep hole in disbelief.
Stepping off the last stair I hear you speak
“Baby, wait.”
You open the door but not all the way.
Just enough so that I could see
the parts of you,
only the ones you wanted me to; Just enough of the old you
the you I would come running back to
And I did.
Against the warning of my intuition,
bombarding my way back in. 

©Nicole Kidwell
*This is poem 1st in my 2nd book, picking up exactly where Black Canvas left off.

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||•Darkness & Beauty•||

Beauty is found

even within the darkness.
It is painted on us
in the vivid colors of love,
pain, confusion, and mistakes.
Embedding itself
Scarring
Leaving tattoo like impressions
on our skin.
Oh how we’ve endured such pain
in the process
but love the finished product
in the end.