here I am again.
Knocking at the door if your heart
hoping that you’re home because
as you can see, I’m not quite done with building my own.
I’ve convinced myself that
I am homeless without you.
So I pushed my mind aside
and with swallowed pride
I bang on your door
with a sense of urgency,
because this; I am the emergency
and I am in need of saving.
Easing up at the sound of
your footsteps on approach.
I hesitate; wait
but I am met with nothing
accept for your silence.
You have but have not
acknowledged that I am here.
I stand here; broken
Angry that you ignore me.
I am vulnerable
and thought I had meant
much more to you than this.
So I start yelling and
throwing up ultimatums.
Threaten that ‘if you don’t let me back in
I will take it all away.’
And still you say;
You think you’ve called my bluff
and now as I have given up,
turning to leave
you watch through the peep hole in disbelief.
Stepping off the last stair I hear you speak
You open the door but not all the way.
Just enough so that I could see
the parts of you,
only the ones you wanted me to; Just enough of the old you
the you I would come running back to
And I did.
Against the warning of my intuition,
bombarding my way back in.
*This is poem 1st in my 2nd book, picking up exactly where Black Canvas left off.
Who knew a group date
Could change my fate??
Introductions fuel seduction
I need a distraction
For he is not mine
I cannot have him
For he has some one
I belong to another
We are forbidden
Trying not to look for too long
But our eyes exchange glances
All the while my eyes are enchanted
Dancing over every inch of you
You tell me your name
I am slow to speak my own
Because in my head
I’m repeating over and over
Is please don’t leave us together alone
A hug embraced, our first mistake
Inducing the spark
This hug goes on a few seconds to long
We all sit down, drinks start flowing
Round after round
This is bound to get interesting
My mans right her, your girl is right there
Although both are engaged in the groups conversation
So much so that neither noticed us getting closer
At the other end of the table
Getting deeper and deeper in conversation
Gaining liquid courage
Words are changing
Turning into questions that shouldn’t be
Because we keep brushing against each other
I test you, you test me
I tempt you, you tempt me
I touch you, you touch me
Nobody is stopping
Nobody is watching
To see that we are so close
So all alone
Placed your hand on my knee
My mind starts daydreaming
Because my body is feining
it wants more
I place my hand on top of yours
Slide your hand up my thigh
And we lock eyes
We know where this is going
With every drink that we take
Temptation is blurring
The lines of our limitations
The tension is baiting
Hesitations and reservations
Are all falling away
No action now is mistaken
Forbidden chances are calling
Begging to be taken…
It beckons me
It smells my weakness
and it comes calling
creeping from beneath obscurities
Waiting to feast on my insecurities
Oh why do you smell so sweet?
Vanilla with a hint of possibility
As you stand there in all of your absolute glory.
Caramel complexion, contoured abs, bedroom eyes, beautiful smile, and perfect teeth.
Wait, you can not have me.
Even as badly as I want you to have me.
I can not, we can not be.
So you go your way and I mine,
we must flee.
And so I run
I run as fast as my legs can take.
I had to get away so that you can not take me.
I stop for a minute to catch my breath
I look back only to see that you are still chasing…
Are you still…
Temptation beckons me
Threatening to break down the door to these 4 walls that I hide behind.
He thinks of me a prisoner and wants to rescue me.
Snatch me away, up into his arms, and into safety.
He wants me…
He wants to save me because I am the dummy who won’t walk away
from my current toxic situation and he sees it.
But to take that leap, I have never been that brave.
And I hold way too much pride to admit I needed saving
So I stayed…
Only to soon find regret the day
That temptation decided
And then started to walk away.
©Nicole K. 2016
The poem behind a poetic story I’m working on bases on this and a series I wrote called Forbidden Chances. Will post those later in the day.
I watched his hands in anticipation
of where they soon would be
as he signed the receipt.
He looks at me, devilishly
then hands over to me the keys.
This room, we make home for the night
but as we cross the threshold
we know we’re trespassing.
We stand here, by the bed
staring at each other intensely.
One hand on your shoulder
and one around my waist.
One hand pulling you in closer
and your other, brushing the hair from my face.
For our lips to touch,
I can taste your want for me
as you breathe
I giggle at a slight moment of hesitancy
allowing it to fade away as we
fall into our bed of wrong decisions
and perfectly made sheets.
The contrast of our sin
against the purity of these white sheets
This time, these moments
were not ours to seize
but we are insistent on stealing.
So with each touch,
each perfectly placed kiss,
every shudder that runs my body,
and after every moan I release
embrace in our thievery.